OUR VERY DEEP HUMAN NEEDS
In our development, the needs we need to solve to be able to grow up succesfully can be summarized in this list. So, perhaps you can think on how your own needs are NOW being provided for.
Defining the Six Human Needs
Need # 1 - Love & Connection
This is the need to experience bonding, sharing, feeling a part of, oneness, intimacy, at one with, etc. Someone has to love us! Edward Hallowell says that connection is as vitally important to us as Vitamin C.
Need # 2 - Significance
This is the need to experience a sense of being needed, feeling important, sense of meaning, sense of purpose, uniqueness, etc. We need to experience that what we do or share matters. Notice how this need contrasts with need # 1.
Need # 3 - Certainty
This is the ability to produce, eliminate, or avoid stress; or create, increase, or intensify pleasure. It's also about security and survival. To know that the basic things are there for you, and there is no lack of them.
Need # 4 - Uncertainty / Variety
The need for surprise, difference, diversity, challenge, excitement, etc. Notice how this need contrasts with need # 3. We all need this excitement!
Need # 5 - Growth
This is the need to continuously fulfill potentials, to "be all that you can be." This need drives you to become the "most complete you" possible.
Need # 6 - Contribution
This is the need to help others to be fulfilled (to help others meet their six human needs in a constructive way). It's possible to meet any or all of these six needs by changing either your:
Perception (belief or appreciation of) . You do this by working on your basic beliefs: if they are negative self-percetions, then you need to change them.
Procedure (vehicles or approach to). You need to do things in a different way, to achieve needs satisfaction. Stopdenying that your needs are ignored, and do something!
In a relationship as challenging as one with a PA person, ignoring your needs is almost the automatic survival decision that we do. It is always the most damaging....we need to care for our needs in order to survive and care for others.