Thursday, May 03, 2012
Recognize Passive Aggression Before it Destroys Your Sanity
Author: Neil Warner
Are some conversations with your hubby leaving you feeling emotionally drained, dejected, and utterly confused? Do you received the message "I love you" while at the same time he is sabotaging your best efforts to do positive things for the couple?
This is maddening, and you need to know what is going on….because being in this confusion can damage your confidence and self-esteem. Constant, stubborn passive aggressive behavior can take its toll on you, slowly altering your personality, until you barely recognize your own self. You feel isolated, perhaps you might cry or yell more often than before, and you feel completely out of control.
What are the main aspects of passive aggressive behavior?
- Unexpected, unprovoked anger attacks, not related to the issue being discussed
- Isolating or rejecting you without an obvious reason
- Stopping you from expressing your feelings; ignoring them
- Preventing you from getting your family or friends' support
- Showing sensitivity and caring one minute; hostile and resentful the next
In order to understand what is going on, what you need to look for is not the occasional response that blocks cooperation while saying that it is forthcoming, but look for the passive-aggressive behavior which is ingrained and the habitual way of dealing with the world, you included. Every time you suggest something, and you can do this exercise only to test his answer, watch how he never will say: wonderful, let's do it! Instead, he will edge and haw, give evasive comments and change the conversation….or asks from you about something not related, (like the weather or the time) only to throw you off.
More: if you push and ask about the meaning of his communicative behavior, what you will get is a maddening mixture of evasiveness and contrition, agreeableness and resistance, connection and aloofness. If all of this fails, he will show himself being severely depressed, which leaves you in the same place!
The classic description of passive aggressive behavior includes a "stubborn malcontent, someone who passively resists fulfilling routine tasks, complains of being misunderstood and underappreciated, unreasonably scorns authority and voices exaggerated complaints of personal misfortune."
Sometimes you can even perceive him as doing a very sly, cover sabotaging of all your plans to move ahead, progress and develop new experiences for both, so scared this person is of change and your role in any change happening to him/her. Do you plan to enroll his help losing weight? Then he will invite you to dine out, at a good pizza place! If you push a lot, then you will be served with aggressive outbursts, coming like "out of nowhere," but destined to protect his personality from any adult challenge needing his response.
Do you need to know more? If you think passive aggressive behavior is the cause of your unhappy situation there are steps you can take to resolve it. Perhaps you need to get a copy of www.passiveaggresive.com, an ebook that will give you strategies to respond to Passive Aggressive tactics! If you are ready to break free of the chains of passive aggressive emotional bondage, if you are tired of feeling humiliated and alone, if you are ready to take control of your emotional well-being once and for all, then this e-book is for you.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/recognize-passive-aggressive-before-it-destroys-your-sanity-467359.html
About the Author
I am a seasoned relationship guru, and to improve the quality of love-based relationship experiences, offered "The Art of Positive Conflicts," at www.positiveconflicts.com, positive strategies to survive a difficult relationship with love and compassion. As a passive aggressive person myself, I have an invaluable set of information and tips to share, all in ebook: "Recovering from Passive Aggression." With co-author Nora Femenia, we share our new tools with you at www.passiveaggresive.com