Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Discover if you are in a passive aggressive marriage now


For the person living in a passive aggressive marriage, just to go through everyday life together is a series of challenges. Each decision can be the opportunity for frustration and resentment. Having to make decisions by yourself, confront resistance and later on being blamed for the same decision you were forced to do is exhausting.  

This kind of relationship offers very few opportunities for heart to heart connection, where joy and emotional needs satisfaction can be achieved. And considering that human needs are the real fuel for our lives: the feelings of being loved, recognized and appreciated for what we are by our most intimate partner, it is not impossible that desperation and loneliness set in.

  • What is the impact of constant feelings of loneliness on you?
  • What are the short and long term consequences? 
  • Who are you going to be after some time, let’s say 20 years of this life?
A terrible part of this story is when we receive letters from women having spent 20-30 years in this kind of situation, and now they realize the damage done. They waiting for an spontaneous change in the husband's behavior, for too long! How do you appraise this damage, year after year?

What happened with your personal life goals, your life mission?  here is a personal comment, from

"For the past two days I've been grieving and crying over how much I've accepted and how much I've ruined my life by accepting his lies and intimidation.  My husband sees me in tears and I am not doing it to get him to feel compassion: but he doesn't! He doesn't have any compassion; he just withdraws. 

But he did say something very honest today: he said, I see your hurting but I don't know how to react because I've always withdrew and I've been like this for 40 years. He said sorry but it wasn't heartfelt.  I don't want to be victim to the trap of him saying he will get help and then he doesn't truly identify with his problem.  At least now I know what is going on here.  

I do need to know how I develop myself and my self-esteem because whether  my marriage works or I move on, I never want to be in this position again.  I want to have a mature healthy relationship. Please help!"

Is this your situation? If you need help to determine what kind of marriage are you in, you can always visit us here....To your happiness!

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